tim heidecker's oscar tweets

I was going to post a selection of tweets that I love, but instead I'm just going to post all of Tim Heidecker's Oscar-night tweets because I just found them and because he actually managed to convince some people that there was a fire backstage ready to consume the building.

A song to set up the premise of dual hosts. What a waste of time. #oscars 8:36PM

And this is sweaty Baldwin 8:37PM

Hope someone's monitoring the smoke coming from behind that giant 82. 8:39PM

Getting word of large "contained" fire backstage at oscars. Hope they won't need to evacuate. 9:10PM

Downey jr. Hiding burns well. 9:13PM

LAFD: heros for allowing the show to continue, even at the great risk to all in building. 9:46PM

Fire may have been started by Jake Gylenhaal's disposed cigar in trash can. 9:50PM

Smoke starting to effect breathing on stage. 9:52PM

Irony of Inglorius basterds ending and tomight's disaster not lost on Quinten tarintino! 9:54PM

Small fires reported in lobby. Not going to be easy to escape now. 9:55PM

I for one would not be sticking around! Robin! Take charge! Start a line and get people out of there!! 9:58PM

Fire is now out of control backstage. Producers worried cables holding glitter proscenium won't hold. 10:05PM

"Structure of building likely to hold but smoke and heat will leave few alive" - oscars producer (speaking anonomously) 10:08PM

This poor guy only has minutes to live! RUN!!! 10:08PM

Sarah Jessica Parker badly burned but insisted on presenting. Another hero tonight. 10:11PM

Wish George clooney would set aside his ego and lead his people to safety! 10:12PM

"has been decided evacuation would lead to panic. We're going down with the ship" /via @lennykravitz 10:15PM

Emergency pre-recorded bits to put out spot fires on stage! Great producing! 10:18PM

Temperature in theater 112 degreees. Hot! 10:25PM

You get the sense that some people there may want to live instead of watch the highlights from a pre-recorded awards show. 10:29PM

@LAFDtalk ooops! 10:33PM

So seriously: no joke. I just got a message from LAFD asking me to stop - there is no fire at the oscars guys, c'mon!!! 10:35PM

@LAFDtalk sorry guys. 10:37PM

And finally... James Taylor 10:41PM