Tuesday, August 10, 2010

scary dream

Last night I had a dream that I was in the cafeteria at the top floor of an office building (much like the one where I actually work), and while I tried to choose between chocolate custard and key lime pie, an emergency would erupt wherein one of the employees suddenly became hysterical; the exact same situation kept playing itself out over and over, except each time he would do something more berserk than the time before, with the last round involving him cutting off his own finger, spraying the terrified patrons with his blood and screaming "You have it too, now, you have it too." Every time something like this happened, the same mousey woman would try to control the crowd by telling us to calmly head toward the exits--and every time we would throw her in the way of the mad man, trampling her as we fled for our lives.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

download this album

Astro Club Blonde finally released their EP, New As Tomorrow, to the interwebs for the downloadz of a lifetime! Key trax: all of them.


Nathan probably hates me for how I went about doing this.

Monday, July 19, 2010

a few of my favorite performances by people who are dead now.

See title for explanation.

Cab Calloway - "Minnie the Moocher"

Frank Sinatra & Louis Armstrong - "The Birth of the Blues"

Fred Astaire - "Puttin' On the Ritz"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

new job

So I've finally secured myself a fulltime job. I'm a production coordinator for College Humor in their orignal videos department. Basically, I sit at a computer and email people and wait for them to email me back. I cast actors and acquire permits. I order large quantities of food for the crew, which has been working out pretty well, and which I attribute to my previous experiences working in fast food. Sometimes I attend meetings and carry a little briefcase thing.

We work in this gigantic building by the Chelsea Piers called IAC. It contains many other companies, including Vimeo and Busted Tees. Here's what it looks like:

Our building is the little brown one.

Just kidding! The windows are $100,000 apiece.

People seem to think that College Humor is a great place to work. Why:
-It's run mostly by dudes
-There's almost no one employed here older than 29
-No one takes themselves seriously, and almost the entire staff performs in the vidoes, often as exagerrated forms of themselves
-The interns are treated as equals to the employees
-Nerf guns are everywhere and most of our days are filled by watching viral videos on Youtube.

Everyone has a Tumblr. Here are some of them:

Scam Machine: My own, which I've been updating more regularly than this blog lately (though I still prefer Blogger).

Oh Yeah! Bennett Wilson: Dedicated to our eccentric production manager Bennett Wilson, who's recently taken on the hobby of building the world's largest things.

A Different Thing is My Dick: Adam Newman features different things as his dick.

I'd admittedly never watched a CH video before getting hired, but now that I'm paid to be here, I've gotta say their shit is kind of great--and not just because I'm paid to be here. (Only partially.) Here are some recent sketches I've especially liked:

That last one was just critiqued by political savant Bill O'Reilly:

In summation: I've worked for free. I've worked for psychologically abusive tyrants. I've worked with cynics who hate the meaningless content they must produce day in and day out. Now I'm working in a place that has the talking statue from Legends of the Hidden Temple.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

moments of vindication: chapter five

I was romping around my backwoods backyard in Bangor, Maine when I happened upon a large, wild turtle in our creek. It was a hot day and he was covered in mud, piled about 4 inches high on his back. I thought, "This poor guy is gonna drown! Here he is sitting in the water, covered in mud, barely able to move. I better clean him off."

So I spent a little while scraping it all off, taking care of him. I wondered what he liked to eat. I plucked some grass and held it out for him.

In an instant he snapped down on it so hard that he took a tiny chunk of my tiny finger with him. I bled all over him, screaming. In just as much of an instant, it occurred to me:

Sitting in the water: it's hot out.
Covered in mud: it's hot out.
Barely able to move: he's a fucking turtle.

I ran inside and he slowly crawled away, presumably smug about it all. I still have a small lump on my finger to remind me of his betrayal. Years later, I'm blogging about this. And he? Dead.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

bitches on my dick so they call me tom hanks

All apologies: a lot has happened lately and so this blog has suffered. For now, I'll just mention that I finally moved my broke ass to Brooklyn where dreams become reality. Working hard, partying harder. Here are some things I've liked this week.

BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE: featuring original members Anton Newcombe, Joel Gion and Matt Hollywood. My review: Webster Hall is run by douchebags. Their beer choices suck, are mad overpriced, and they won't give you free water? Awesome. Also, the opening act was like shockingly mediocre. But BJM went beyond my expectations, which were admittedly low going into it. I assumed it would be Anton and a bunch of soul-less musicians testing out some half-baked shit they wrote a half hour before, but no. It was the band I wanted to see and they played for 2 and a half hours, did every song I could've hoped for and then some. It got better and better as the night wore on, until Anton ended it with a 20 minute sound experiment, playing with feedback distortion (which INFURIATED the audience because they thought it was building into an encore, and it totally didn't). I loved every minute of it.

THE BILL MURRAY EXPERIENCE: featuring banjo player Blind Boy Paxton. I was with my friends Jason and Anders waiting for the L train when they called out to a colorfully-dressed trio walking by on the other platform: "HEYYY BLIND BOY!" Blind Boy, a large black man in overalls and a top hat, yelled back, "WHO THEM HONKIES?!" Long story short, we were invited to see them play a bluegrass show the next night at Rose Live Music. My review: nice venue and no cover, but HOT as FUCK. The scene: surreal. "Authentic" doesn't come close to describing it, so allow me to lay heavy on the southern synonyms. I didn't realize that bluegrass-americana was such a thing in Brooklyn, but there were girls dancing like they were straight out of a barn on fire. The Dust Brothers were the only opening act I saw and they played as fast as an Oklahoma whirlwind. As for the Bill Murray Experience? I was feeling miserable, suffering through both a work-related catastrophe and a break-up, but when the singer sang the blues it was like she ripped it straight from my soul, which was laying dormant at the bottom of a shot glass. She looked like Betty Boop and sang like Cab Calloway. Fell for her instantly.

DJ POWER & ASSOCIATES: THE WORLD: IT'S NOT A MIXTAPE VOLUME III: featuring Alan Lapointe, who does a piss poor job of hyping himself and then raps about it. Just listened to it twice in a row. This is not a mixtape. This is THE WORLD. And it's great. Fucking download it. Millennium Blonde and Wario beats, lyrics that are both politically aware and slyly absurd... and the best part? Inadvertently funded by the US government. Favorite tracks: Goliath, Melonade, Tuna Melt, Warioworld

tom hanks tom homie tom hanks

Monday, May 3, 2010

blog mascot

Marine disaster.

Saw that 2 days after sketching a tattoo I've been wanting to get:


I'm saying I relate to Aquaman.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

fly baby fly

I got 5 words: milfs milfs and more milfs.

Study After Cruel Intentions short film

The second half is really a mess but overall I can't complain. It's sick. The direction is hypnotic. The music is Simian Mobile Disco. The director is Saam Farahmand. I know not much about Saam other than that he's so in right now. You might know him from any Klaxons music video, or this (RIP McQueen). Can't say I'm a huge fan but I do love that he's "pitching to Hollywood a biopic about Tom Cruise. I want Tom to play himself."

Personally my favorite of his work is this video done for Simian Mobile Disco--compare/contrast:

"Hustler" video 2007

What is he saying? I don't know but I wish he was directing the sequel to Sex and the City.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

RIP Malcolm McLaren

Legendary bastard Malcolm McLaren died today. If you're not familiar with who he is, he was a former manager for the New York Dolls and used his evil genius to make The Sex Pistols as anarchic as they were known for being. He created and starred in a very strange, semi-charmed film called THE GREAT ROCK 'N ROLL SWINDLE about The Sex Pistols (featuring Sid Vicious shortly before he died, but not Johnny Rotten, who thought McLaren was a raging, deluded asshole and wanted nothing to do with it). McLaren's partner-in-crime in the film is a silent lady dwarf, and by far the most memorable scene is their duet to "You Need Hands." That moment has always stuck with me but for some stupid reason it's no longer available on Youtube. Instead I offer you a few of his later songs, which are as varied and notable as they are inexplicably beautiful.

"About Her" fan video, popularized in Kill Bill 2

"Double Dutch" music video 1983

Madame Butterfly music video 1984

Don't know why, but that last one really gets me.

Monday, April 5, 2010

i am sam marine . com : updated

New site design for iamsammarine.com featuring my 100% authentic handwriting. I wonder if internet autographs will be a thing in the future? Maybe they are already. Anyway, enjoy it, try to make some money off it if you can. Included in the update is my old short from 2007, REAL GIRLS, because I recently found the accompanying storyboards we were required to make for Larry's class (and which he never looked at).

Yes, ridiculously anime, I know.

I also won a little blog contest held over at Michael Oshins's blog. He seems to be having on-going giveaways so check it out! Here was my prize:

Thanks Mike!

RIP Lurkey.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

moments of vindication: chapter four

When I was in third grade, Mrs. Powers was my favorite teacher EVER, making education collaborative and fun. One thing she would do was pick a student to read a story to the class every Friday, and I was asked the most out of anyone, reading from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (usual class pick.)

One day she sent me to the health office because I was squinting at the chalk board. I took the eye exam and was told with more than a degree of apathy that I was pretty damned nearsighted. When I came back to the classroom, Mrs. Powers stopped everything to ask me if I was going to have to wear sunglasses and a cane from now on, then proceeded to imitate being blind, making everyone laugh at my expense. Miserably, I told her I needed glasses. Her smile faded and everyone shut up.

Having glasses hasn't been all bad, however. An accessory in themselves, they've enabled me to appear as if I have my shit together even when I don't. What did 20/20 vision do for Mrs. Powers? Keep her on a low salary job in Bangor, Maine, that's what.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

saturday night showcase: jangula

Here's something I've been meaning to hype for a long time. I love this song, this video and this band. Jangula: led by Barak and Johnny, a dynamic duo if ever there was one. If you check out their Myspace, "Pachinko" is a current favorite, and "Genji Glove" sounds not unlike a Franz Ferdinand demo (early Franz, circa "Michael"). Though a few years old now, the "Kick Attacks" video is a great example of their self-deprecating sense of humor and their borderline masochistic/stripped-down sensibility. They're raw, they're high energy, they rock the tight pants.

"Kick Attacks" by Jangula

My cross-cultural experimental short, BLIND, featuring "Kick Attacks"

Withnail downs lighter fluid in Withnail & I

King Khan & BBQ Show's "Fish Fight" video

Beavis & Butthead watch the "Fake Plastic Trees" video by Radiohead
(thanks to Josh)

I like to mellow out to these videos.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

this is what i get for watching twilight.

Had a dream last night that global warming caused all of North America to be flooded, and the Chinese came in and took control because of their farming efficiency in marsh-like conditions. The water was knee-deep in every town and city so people no longer wore shoes. Our staple diet consisted of water chestnuts and baby corn, which grew everywhere, even where pavement had once been, and which we harvested with our feet.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

saturday night showcase: alex lopez

Nearly a year ago I blogged about being one of the vagina clowns in Alex Lopez's senior film MARRIED GIRL. Recently I posted her classic short film Edward 40oz Hands. Now, for those who demanded it, I give you the sequel--featuring Michael Borowiec of Astro Club Blonde, Alan Lapointe and Jamie Wright. Alexandra herself is an independent filmmaker whose specialty is documentaries on the colorful characters littering the alternative scene, as well as pop culture iconography and 60s counterculture.

The Return of Edward 40oz Hands by Alexandra Lopez

"Married Girl" video by The Slackers

Jimi Hendrix performs "Hear My Train A Comin'"
in A Film About Jimi Hendrix

"Freakin' Friends" video by Mystik Spiral
(ie Trent's band from Daria)

The Runaways perform "Wasted" live on Old Grey Whistle Test

When dead clowns can't clown, we'll still be freakin' friends.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

my fucking ridiculous dog

and my crappy-ass kitchen

photo credit: missy

Saturday, March 13, 2010

saturday night showcase: sam jaffe

It's weird. This week I was developing three different doc treatments and suddenly I'm thinking about Sam Jaffe's senior thesis doc--can't remember what it was called, but it's about a communal apartment building in DC. I was remembering the moment where one of the main subjects argues with two strangers on the street.... an epic roller coaster ride of emotions in just a few minutes of human interaction. And what should be posted this week on Youtube? But that very fight! So, I'm showcasing it here, largely for being in line with my current interests, and somewhat for nostalgia, for the days when he was cutting it directly behind me in the school's lab.

Interview and argument from Sam Jaffe's senior doc

2009 video for "Let's Take a Walk" by Raphael Saadiq
directed by Edouard Salier

Jello Biafra of Dead Kennedys interviewed by Jools Holland
discussing the album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables

The Young Ones have a party
and Rick plays with a tampon

Bad Brains perform "House of Suffering" @ Daytona Beach 1988

you guys, let's take a walk

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

tim heidecker's oscar tweets

I was going to post a selection of tweets that I love, but instead I'm just going to post all of Tim Heidecker's Oscar-night tweets because I just found them and because he actually managed to convince some people that there was a fire backstage ready to consume the building.

A song to set up the premise of dual hosts. What a waste of time. #oscars 8:36PM

And this is sweaty Baldwin 8:37PM

Hope someone's monitoring the smoke coming from behind that giant 82. 8:39PM

Getting word of large "contained" fire backstage at oscars. Hope they won't need to evacuate. 9:10PM

Downey jr. Hiding burns well. 9:13PM

LAFD: heros for allowing the show to continue, even at the great risk to all in building. 9:46PM

Fire may have been started by Jake Gylenhaal's disposed cigar in trash can. 9:50PM

Smoke starting to effect breathing on stage. 9:52PM

Irony of Inglorius basterds ending and tomight's disaster not lost on Quinten tarintino! 9:54PM

Small fires reported in lobby. Not going to be easy to escape now. 9:55PM

I for one would not be sticking around! Robin! Take charge! Start a line and get people out of there!! 9:58PM

Fire is now out of control backstage. Producers worried cables holding glitter proscenium won't hold. 10:05PM

"Structure of building likely to hold but smoke and heat will leave few alive" - oscars producer (speaking anonomously) 10:08PM

This poor guy only has minutes to live! RUN!!! 10:08PM

Sarah Jessica Parker badly burned but insisted on presenting. Another hero tonight. 10:11PM

Wish George clooney would set aside his ego and lead his people to safety! 10:12PM

"has been decided evacuation would lead to panic. We're going down with the ship" /via @lennykravitz 10:15PM

Emergency pre-recorded bits to put out spot fires on stage! Great producing! 10:18PM

Temperature in theater 112 degreees. Hot! 10:25PM

You get the sense that some people there may want to live instead of watch the highlights from a pre-recorded awards show. 10:29PM

@LAFDtalk ooops! 10:33PM

So seriously: no joke. I just got a message from LAFD asking me to stop - there is no fire at the oscars guys, c'mon!!! 10:35PM

@LAFDtalk sorry guys. 10:37PM

And finally... James Taylor 10:41PM

Sunday, March 7, 2010

saturday night showcase: motion sick

Since I spent my Saturday at Purchase burning DVDs of my senior thesis, I thought it'd be appropriate to showcase Motion Sick... for a limited time. So through the month of March you can watch it on Vimeo, if you have 28 minutes to spare in you're oh so busy schedule.

Or you can be a dick and watch the Oscars.

Written & directed by Yours Truly
featuring Pamela Fila, Lora Lee Ecobelli, Andrew Marine
and actor/filmmaker Alan Lapointe

Hilarious music video for Adira Amram's "Mom Song"
featuring Lora Lee Ecobelli (as her actual mom)

featuring Nathan and Mike
and shot by Andy and Joel
all crew members for Motion Sick

Rustwire covering "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
featuring Andrew Marine on drums

Installation piece by Alan Lapointe

"Entertaining the audience. THAT'S what's going to win you an Academy Award." - 2 minutes ago. Uhhhh... OK, so where's the Oscar for Dunston Checks In?

Update: best Oscar coverage I've seen so far.

Friday, March 5, 2010

have you heard: alice in wonderland

Don't know if you heard, but everyone's all up in arms about this Alice in Wonderland thing. Now I know what you're thinking: "Hmm, Alice in Wonderland... never heard of it."

Well it's this book, see, and it'd make a GREAT subject for a movie!!






The 90s one is a personal favorite. According to Wikipedia one of the last episodes is called "White Rabbits Can't Jump" and features OJ Simpson teaching the White Rabbit to play basketball?

I bet OJ was all over the White Rabbit.

Thanks to Alex and John for 1903 and 1985.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Probably old news by now? But boy do I love this shit so into the blog it goes.

The fight, caught on tape

Follow-up interview with EBM (Epic Beard Man)

Mortal Kombat style

There are countless responses to this, from animated re-enactments to Hitler and Nintendo parodies. What I find especially fascinating, beyond the delusions of both involved parties, is the decidedly positive reaction people have had to the EBM for "not taking shit from angry youths" and standing up for himself. Some have actually used the word "hero" (although once the interview came out, the reactions cooled down to "He's sick and I feel sorry for him... but he's still a badass"). There are further criticisms against the victim because his friends who videotaped it stole the EBM's stuff when it was over, and people generally accuse him of "starting it" by, I don't know, getting riled up over what sounds an awful lot like a racist remark.

I mean, I pretty much feel that the two got what they deserved, but it's strange to see ignorance and public assault being hailed on Youtube. Although according to my boyfriend, people in Turkey have street fights all the time without police intervention, so maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

Monday, March 1, 2010


Late to the party as usual, but fashionably late, one can only hope.

Every once in awhile a documentary comes along and says SAM I'M GONNA MAKE LOVE TO YOUR EYE AND EAR CAVITIES. It happened with Monterey Pop, Storefront Hitchcock, Instrument. It happened with Stop Making Sense, and now it's happened again with DiG!

Directed and funded by Ondi Timoner, the movie follows The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre over a period of 7 years; the bands started out as friends and gradually became less so. I knew nothing about either of them before watching it. Now I think they would make one hell of a Celebrity Deathmatch--pretty boy Courtney Taylor-Taylor vs. the mad genius of Anton Newcombe.

What we have here is a clashing of two artists' ideals: I deserve to make money off my records--You are a hipster sellout. I am not for sale--You are out of your goddamn mind, and you're a junkie. Personally I think the problem with the Dandys is they have their heads in the right place but ain't got no soul, and BJM are complete fucking idiots about 50% of the time (which kind of validates everything that's brilliant and cool about them).


"And people say I'M crazy."
--Anton, inexplicably wielding a gun

Deleted scene: Joel Gion being... well, Joel Gion

Sorry to leave out the Dandys but I couldn't find any good clips.

If you haven't seen it, and you can't afford Netflix cuz you're a broke-ass mother fucker like me, then I have good news: you can watch it for free.

If you have seen it and you're all, fuck the Dandys, fuck BJM, Anton Newcombe is full of shit and I'm not buying, then I have two things to say to you: that's only fair, and way to not support the revolution.

I can't say there ISN'T a revolution when music is being shared as freely as it is now and bands as big as Radiohead are allowing their fans to name the price for their albums. The business is no longer in the grasp of the industry--so Anton might be self-obsessed and ego-maniacal, but that doesn't make him wrong. He's got something driving him, something to express, a desire to provoke change in this topsy-turvy world. I think that's dandy. And I think that's important. However, I'm still not sure what he considers to be THE revolution, as downloading music for free is harming artists like Anton who are self-funding their records, and he's most definitely against it. He encourages all to buy music from your local record store and support musicians; they need help "now more than ever."

I found DiG! to be an amazingly personal, well-crafted film. Like many documentaries, it's criticized for "misrepresenting the truth", mostly by Anton. While I'll admit that most non-fiction films are guilty of dramatizing reality--squeezing every last drop of cinema out of moments real people are actually living through--I can't help but think that's more of a kneejerk reaction to the mirror, if you know what I'm saying.

You: That's all well and good but I want MORE!
Me: OK.
Nice interview with Joel Gion from 2008
Anton's Youtube channel (rarities, new videos, weird shit)
The Committee to Keep Music Evil

doublevision i

Saturday, February 27, 2010

saturday night showcase: kickstarter support/millennium blonde

Straying from my typical showcasing of one artist to promote the works of several artists tonight. Because it's my blog and I'll do what I want, when I want.

Firstly, I'd like to draw attention to two young filmmakers who are trying to get their respective projects made: Emily Tomasik and Mattson Tomlin. I've donated to both of them through Kickstarter and you can too! Show 'em some love. POWER LOVE, that is.

Little Turtle in a Big City, a film by Emily Tomasik

Solomon Grundy, the first in a series by Mattson Tomlin

Next we have a promotional commercial from your favorite band and mine, Astro Club Blonde. I did some improvised voice over for it... yup.

Millennium Blonde commercial
featuring my crummy voice acting

I saw them perform the other night @ Arlene's Grocery during a blizzard. Unreleased songs, giant sunglasses, neon lights. While the snow might have hindered the audience attendance, I'd say it enhanced the experience of the show.

If you weren't there, don't worry--the whole performance was caught on tape (courtesy Andrew Gitomer) and will no doubt be available online at some point in THE FUTURE (don't know if you heard, but they live there). For now, here are a few photos from the night:

Photos by Shells Kamiel.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010

saturday night showcase: jamie wright

Jamie Wright is an independent documentary filmmaker from Pittsburgh, and probably the biggest advocate for Pittsburgh I've ever met. He has recently shot music videos and promos for fellow PA band, The London. I found the electronic press kit he made for them to be surprisingly engaging, a nice study on four hipster musicians extracted from webcam interviews, performance footage, behind-the-scenes and clips of their slick music video. Don't know how into the music I am, but the video did a good job of making me like them... which is exactly what a press kit is supposed to do.

The London electronic press kit by Jamie Wright

Jamie Wright as Edward 40 oz Hands
directed by Alexandra Lopez

"Miserable" by Lit
featuring Pamela Anderson

Tom Waits press release

Nirvana interview

Happy Birthday, Kurt

Monday, February 15, 2010

moments of vindication: chapter three

It was my first day at a new school and already I was sent to the Principal's office.

I was sitting at the lunch table with a group of girls. "With" is a relative term--I was more sitting outside the group and hoping they'd ask me to be their friend. That's how things seemed to work in elementary school so far. Anyway, they were playing a little game.

What I thought was happening in the game: the girls slowly push a milk carton toward the girl sitting opposite them, seeing how close to the edge of the table they can get it without spilling.

What was actually happening in the game: the girls push their milk toward Cindy, who's lactose-intolerant, just to gross her out.

Without saying anything, I started to join in. I pushed my carton toward Cindy. It spilled all over her. Of course, mine had to be chocolate milk. Of course, she had to be wearing white. She told the teacher I did it on purpose, all the girls thought I was a jerk and I received a warning from the Principal.

A few weeks later, someone pointed out to Cindy and I that we both had on the exact same Nickelodeon-brand sneakers. We became inseparable for the next couple of years. Memories of that time in Maine include: pretending to be Spice Girls, playing Duke Nukem, prank-calling a water bed company, her mom's VHS copy of BASIC INSTINCT, a major crush on Keanu Reeves and candy cigarettes.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

saturday night showcase: bob gosse

Bob Gosse: the man, the myth, the legend (not so much the fashion). In 1991, he was founder of The Shooting Gallery, an independent NY film company, along with Hal Hartley and Ted Hope. They had many low-budget, critically recognized successes before closing in 2001. A producer and sometimes actor, Gosse last directed I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL (2009). Call him for a good time.

Bob Gosse's short film Mophead (1990)
featuring Matt Malloy
with music by Hal Hartley

My Birthday Cake by Whitney Ransick
starring Bob Gosse

Pre-FORBIDDEN ZONE (1982), a rare 16mm short by Richard Elfman
Marie-Pascale Elfman sings "Johnny"
featuring the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo

Bugs Bunny tricks the Irish mafia in "Bugsy and Mugsy"

Sonic Youth dance break in Hal Hartley's SIMPLE MEN (1992)

You might, Rabbit, you might...

Thursday, February 11, 2010


I just got this from an old friend with little explanation:

Little explanation... besides THIS:

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Kitty whiskers, bubblegum, Supercute!

Last week Lightning Lauren and I went to see a comedy show at 92YTribeca called "Bro'in Out," hosted by Leo Allen and featuring guests Paul Rudd, Jon Glaser and Steve Schirripa ('Bacala' from The Sopranos). It was an improvised show where the guys got drunk, told weird stories and rambled about dream interpretation (mostly by 'dreamidian' Chris Coby, a character portrayed by Glaser that the audience HATED, but we of course loved). I got Glaser's autograph--for the second time--for my brother, who's a Delocated fan. I'd lost it the first time around for reasons I won't get into.

Anyway, I ended up being most entertained by the show's musical guests, Supercute! Formerly The Oh My God Girls, the band consists of three undeniably adorable teenage girls, playing keyboard, guitar and ukulele, and covering Led Zeppelin when they're not singing about candy cities and hula hoops. Sound gross? It almost is. But somehow it avoids being too obnoxious or creepy because they have a surprisingly adult self-awareness and keen sense of humor to counteract the superficial appeal of them being so. goddamn. supercute.

"Not to Write About Boys" by Supercute! @ 92YTribeca

The NY-based, sometimes politically outspoken frontgirl, Rachel Trachtenburg, grew up in a band with her family, The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players. I got the chance to talk to her (pleasantly) eccentric father after the show, who announced upon us meeting--with more than a degree of satisfaction--the death of the compact disc. It was weird only because nobody had been talking about that... but not the worst conversation starter. We then discussed the CD's more unfortunate casualty, the death of album as art, and celebrated the greater good that accompanies the freedom of sharing digital music. What a cute family.

"You're the One Who's Made For Me and I Was Made For You"
by The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players

Bonus points: they all REALLY hate Bloomberg.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Saturday, February 6, 2010

saturday night showcase: tiger brown

Tonight's showcase features Tiger Brown, Australian filmmaker. I don't know much about Tiger except he's a versatile director who's covered many genres including documentaries, musicals and music videos (several for the band Zeebling). I especially like this video, which appeals to my love for Asian girls. And Asian creatures. And dancing.

Tiger's video for "Midnight Sun" by Zeebling
featuring Nini Ten and Alliah Sophia

In Lust by Eric Wareheim
(of Tim and Eric)

Deerhoof's "The Perfect Me" video

Godzilla fucking shit up in Kensho Yamashita's GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA (1994)

The last 10 minutes of the last episode of the live action (and evidently low-budget)
Sailor Moon movie TV series, Special Act.
I... cannot believe it's my first time seeing this.

The Japanese form of Godzilla, Gojira, is a combination of the words
"gorilla" and "whale."

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

moments of vindication: chapter two

Again, I was 8 years old. I'd turned 8 again. It was a complicated year.

I saw the movie LOOK WHO'S TALKING a lot when I was a kid. The scene that excited me most: Kirstie Alley is with her boss, they're at work, his hand travels under the desk, he feels her up under her skirt. That was the hottest thing I'd ever witnessed in all my 8 (+/-1) years and for the first time I understood why grown-ups had jobs.

Meanwhile, I had been secretly harboring a crush on this boy in my class, Matt, and every week our desk partners would alternate. I couldn't WAIT to be his desk partner. I thought: OK, I like this kid. I know how this goes. Girl and boy? Check. Desk? Check. But what to do about the skirt...?

I didn't have a skirt! It just wasn't my style. Yet somehow I convinced my mom to buy me a red, plaid, pleated skirt--PERFECT to act out my fantasy. I visualized it in my mind a hundred times: we'd be sitting there, learning how to spell our names, and he'd reach under the desk--slowly, casually--and run his scabby, first grade hands over my thigh. And then? Then we'd be boyfriend/girlfriend. It was so simple, it just had to work.

I wore the skirt on the second day into our desk partnership because the first day my mom was suspicious of my enthusiasm. Or something, I don't really remember. Anyway, he never did touch my leg--no matter how much I fidgeted--and my ass was sore as hell when I went on the big slide that day. I never wore it again.

A few weeks later one of the other girls pushed him against the wall and kissed him, right there in front of everyone, claiming Matt as her boyfriend. I wasn't jealous. Frankly, I thought he was kind of a pussy. And now he had cooties.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

saturday night showcase: ava k

Last night's Saturday Night Showcase brought to you by the letters A K and L, as in Ava K Lamb, as in Ava K and Curious Poses. Musicians, filmmakers and performers, Ava and Tesla are the video equivalent to spin art, but along with paint they also use ironic humor, improvised dance and punk rock, so in my opinion they are BETTER THAN SPIN ART. Ava also runs an Advice Blog, where you can sign up for her Inspiration Newsletter.

Here, Ava K tells us How! To Do Things

How to Make a Button by filmmaker/actress Miranda July

Betty Boop bats her eyelashes in "Minnie the Moocher" (1932)
featuring the earliest-known film footage of Cab Calloway, some of it real,
some of it him rotoscoped as a ghost walrus

Rowan Atkinson demonstrates What to Do and Not to Do on a Date
(thanks to Steve)

"Lips" by Micachu and the Shapes performed at a warehouse in Brooklyn

I'm leaving home because you're not so sweet to me!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

saturday night showcase: captain hippo

Tonight's Saturday Night Showcase is inspired by comedy group Captain Hippo, consisting of Steve, Dan and Mike (aka ALL Productions). They are also filmmakers, cartoonists and frequent contributors to The Landline. Absurdist anarcho-surrealism. Neurotic Jews. Karaoke. Puke.

Captain Hippo's new "American Singer" sketch

Stimpy helps Ren get to sleep in The Ren and Stimpy Show

Adam Golberg tries to order fast food in 2 DAYS IN PARIS (2007)
directed by Julie Delpy

The Dangerous Brothers tell "The Gooseberry joke"

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" as performed by Hurra Torpedo
(thanks to Strzelec)

Sometimes I wish I was in a war, too.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

long overdue drones post.

Humble Australians, The Drones.

I was in the computer lab at school, sophomore year of college, when Nathan first played me 'Shark Fin Blues.' He put it on, left me alone in the room and since that moment the The Drones have steadily become one of my favorite bands. Now I'm attempting to write about them, even though, according to frontman Gareth Liddiard, "talking about music is like dancing about architecture."

Apparently, "Jmag recently conducted a poll of over 70 of Australia’s best songwriters, asking them to nominate five tracks and write about the bearing the songs had on their lives. 'Shark Fin Blues' by The Drones beat out thousands of Australian songwriters to win the greatest Australian Song Ever."

They're a band that make me feel like I've lived a lot more than I have, connecting me to stories and images I've never experienced before. Stuck somewhere in the cracks of Liddiard's vocals are worlds of anger and suffering, violently detailed, spackled over in irony.

Though the above song "River of Tears" is a cover, it's a slick example of their temperament.

As the singer, lyricist and lead guitarist, Gareth's hardened view of life is really what it's all about. He's seen a lot, lived a lot, which gives it a sort of undeniable authenticity. As he puts it: "It’s the fucking suffering artist kind of wank. Bad shit happens. It feels fucked while it’s happening, but if you write songs, you will write a better bunch of songs."

And on subjects that don't come from direct experience, like racism, he writes about it "because it’s there. A lot of people won’t sing about anything like that because it’s just not cool. You couldn’t see Jet singing about that shit, or something like that. No matter what you think of Jet – as a fashion statement, it would just be fucked."

Although the rest of the band is essential to the performance, sometimes they just feel like friends, talented musician friends, backing up their troubled buddy who is daily haunted by

morning’s like a walk
into a blunt narcotic fog
until you’re brought back to your senses by
eight wheels nearing a dog that’s dead or

sleeping pills

Cheer up, emo kid! But don't, because you're so good at being down.

Much like Roast Beef:

It is just like that.

And yet it's impossible to be TOO bummed out by all the misery and woe because of their execution. Their sound has been called "The Birthday Party kick the shit out of Neil Young in Hendrix's garage" and when you go to see them play, there's about as much sweat and spit as you would expect from that description.

Thanks to Nathan for this quote from critic Greil Marcus, who puts it epically in his review of their Sept '09 Brooklyn show--which I was at, actually, and got a mouthful of said bronchitis:

"Having flown in that day from Australia, complaining of jet lag and offering to share bronchitis with the sparse crowd, they threw out one ferocious song after another. “Sitting on the edge of the bed crying,” Gareth Liddiard sang over and over, with storms of noise whirling around his head, the words muttered, chanted, shouted, whispered, until the piece seemed less about a broken heart than the human condition. Guitarist Dan Luscombe said they’d be doing songs from their 2005 album …Wait Long by the River and the Bodies of Your Enemies Will Float By… The music was so strong, so full of loose wires twisting through the air in a spastic dance, that you could imagine that yes, you were the “you” in “your enemies”—and that Liddiard, Luscombe, bassist Fiona Kitschin, and drummer Michael Noga were your enemies, and that as they floated by this was the song they sang."

And that'd be Fiona's copy of the setlist from the show (notice the heart on "Jezebel," a song about life during wartime), swiped by my brother.

Anyway, who DOESN'T want to go out with one eye on the horizon like the victims of circumstance described in these songs? Convicts waiting to be executed, sailors eaten by sharks, spacemen pissing themselves. It all sounds very romantic. AND IT IS. But there is also art, history, dare I say INTEGRITY in their records that separates them from many others. Ewww did I say integrity? YES. I TOTALLY DID.

I just really love 'em. When they're not independently churning out albums (award-winning albums), they're touring all over the world. I've seen them 3 times in Brooklyn in the past year or so and there ain't nothin' like it. I can't wait to see what they do next.